You should always back things up.
Also remember that everybody loses their cool from time to time...

Below is an uncensored post from facebook where I lost my cool.


This was my day... "WOOO!!!!! WOOO!!!! WORK WAS GREAT! WALKING TO THE STORE! GETTING CHOCOLATE AND CAFFEINE! DRANK COFFEE! THE FATHER IN LAW IS DOING BETTER! WOOO!!! WALKING HOME AND THIS AMAZING ZOMBIE CRAWLED OUT OF THE ETHER AND INTO MY BRAIN! WOO!!!! GOING TO WRITE!!! WOOO....

da fuck?
my word 2013 subscription is suspended.

the website keeps telling me that I can't update my information.

fuck....

on the phone with Microsoft support...

and I have to respell everything 5 to 6 times (not exaggerating)

I explained that I had to change my credit card because of the Target hack... so my credit card was canceled... clearly I have to add a new card to my account... and pay whatever balance is on there.

Placed on hold for 10 minutes.

Finally the guy comes back and says "Sir did you know your account was placed on hold... because your credit card was canceled.... you have to add a new card to your account and pay the previous balance."

At this point I grab a pencil off my desk and start PRETEND STABBING the cell phone I'm speaking into, out of frustration.

REAL STAB my face in the process.

Once again explain "Yes. I would like to reactivate my account and pay that balance."

The rep replies, "Ok sir let me place you on hold."

"NONONONONONO-"

placed on hold for 5 more minutes.

During this time, every single person in northern america (exaggeration) decides they're going to call my cell phone. I have a giant amount of unignored calls beeping in my ear.

Finally the rep returns and gets the credit info fixed.

After a minute he informs me that "everything should be working now sir... please check."

"Ok hang on."

Literally 10 seconds pass and the rep gets impatient and says "SIR IS IT WORKING IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED HELP WITH?"

In my head I'm screaming

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

I clear my throat and go to check and see if my files are there. They are... I open the latest Edge of Never book (number 2).

It is missing about 2 weeks of work.

Wait what? Why is my file missing two weeks of work.

Out loud I scream

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

followed by me screaming a tirade about murderous rage wondering why my file is two weeks behind.

The rep SOMEHOW ASSUMES my screaming is me saying he's done a wonderful job and begins to thank me and give me a rehearsed closing speech.

I hang up when he is mid-sentence.

Panic sets in.

Sheer panic.

I can taste it.

I can see panic

dripping from the ceiling,
coating the walls,

flooding into puddles,

spreading across the floor.

All at once the panic drenching everything turns crimson with rage

and the only thing I can think to do is hire a private detective, track down that service rep, fly to whatever remote part of the world he is from and slap him into the future.

I am three demons deep into the kind of rage that could murder an Elder God.

The wife texts me and the only thing I can respond with is, "Can't type. Too angry."

I hyperventilate.

Then I remember I'd been backing everything up to Google docs.

I check Google docs.

IT IS THERE!

FUCK YEA GOOGLE! I want to catch a bus to Mountain View and highfive every single person that Google employs. If they invited me there, just to spend a day walking around and highfive-ing employees while wearing a shirt that reads "F&$( YEA GOOGLE," I would do this shit.

I might even weep openly.

Finally, I sit back at my computer and start thinking in sentences that feel less forced, I catch my breath and for one tiny moment I feel like I am George Clinton wearing guitar shaped sunglasses.

Google Photo credit Aray Chen (Flickr)